Understanding Mens
„IT’S A GUY THING“ Translated: „There is no rational thought pattern connected with it, and you have no chance at all of making it logical.“
„CAN I HELP WITH DINNER?„ Translated: „Why isn’t it already on the table?“
„UH HUH,“ „SURE, HONEY,“ OR „YES, DEAR“ Translated: Absolutely nothing. It’s a conditioned response.
„IT WOULD TAKE TOO LONG TO EXPLAIN“ Translated: „I have no idea how it works.“
„I WAS LISTENING TO YOU. IT’S JUST THAT I HAVE THINGS ON MY MIND.“ Translated: „That girl standing on the corner is a real babe.“
„TAKE A BREAK HONEY, YOU’RE WORKING TOO HARD.“ Translated: „I can’t hear the game over the vacuum cleaner.“
„THAT’S INTERESTING, DEAR.“ Translated: „Are you still talking?“
„YOU KNOW HOW BAD MY MEMORY IS.“ Translated: „I remember the theme song to ‘F Troop’, the address of the first girl I ever kissed, and the vehicle identification numbers of every car I’ve ever owned, but I forgot our anniversary.“
„I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT YOU, AND GOT YOU THESE ROSES.“ Translated: „The girl selling them on the corner was a real babe.“
„OH, DON’T FUSS – I JUST CUT MYSELF, IT’S NO BIG DEAL.“ Translated: „I have actually severed a limb, but will bleed to death before I admit that I’m hurt.“
„I CAN’T FIND IT.“ Translated: „It didn’t fall into my outstretched hands, so I’m completely clueless.“
„WHAT DID I DO THIS TIME?“ Translated: „What did you catch me at?“
„I HEARD YOU.“ Translated: „I haven’t the foggiest clue what you just said, and am hoping desperately that I can fake it well enough so that you don’t spend the next three days yelling at me.“
„YOU KNOW I COULD NEVER LOVE ANYONE ELSE.“ Translated: „I am used to the way you yell at me, and realize it could be worse.“
„YOU LOOK TERRIFIC.“ Translated: „Oh, please don’t try on one more outfit, I’m starving.“
„I’M NOT LOST. I KNOW EXACTLY WHERE WE ARE.“ Translated: „No one will ever see us alive again.“